Story - 1

I decided to write a story, and share it with all of you. This is the first chapter. Tell me what you think...

Nouf woke up to 7 missed calls from her cousin, Asrar.

Before calling Asrar back Nouf opened Whatsapp, and two minutes after Asrar called.

“Laish ta7gireen? Online w maradaitay 3alai 9arli sina adig 3alaich”, complained Asrar.

“Mali khilg tawni ga3da min il noum akeed mara7 adig 3alaich 3ala 6ool”, replied Nouf.

“Inzain chub. Il youm ta3alay wiyana zwarat ahal oboui”.

“Asrar kilish mali khilg w tadreen ini asti7i”.

“Wallah tyeen”.

W hatha akthar shay tikraha Nouf ib Asrar. Ta7lif Asrar fa gha9bin 3anha Nouf itsawi ili Asrar tabi 3ashan her cousin ‘matdish il nar’.

Nouf got out of bed, went to the bathroom, prayed, and then sent a message on a group called “The Family” on Whatsapp saying she won’t be home for lunch. The group consisted of her parents and her.

Nouf opened her cupboard and went through the struggle most girls go through before leaving their houses. She couldn’t decide what to wear. After 5 minutes of looking through her cupboard she found a long, white flowy dress she had bought last summer. She slipped into it and walked towards her mirror. She grabbed her make up bag and pulled out her mascara and her matte pink lipstick.

She looked at herself in the mirror, and began to apply a few layers of mascara on her long, thick lashes that surrounded her big brown eyes. She grabbed her lipstick and began to apply it on her medium sized lips.

You see- Nouf didn’t need heaps of make up. She was attractive, very very attractive. She had an innocent face. Jamalha kan jamal na3im.

Nouf’s hair was in a bun. She set her hair free, allowing her light brown curls to fall underneath her shoulders.

Nouf put on her gold slippers and matched her outfit with a light pink bag.

She opened one of the drawers and grabbed the license she had received a week ago.

As Nouf drove to her cousin’s house she passed by Starbucks to get herself something to drink. You see- when Nouf bitrou7 3ind a7ad il bait w mista7ya, tadri inha mara7 takil. Fa 3ashan matyou3, takhith laha shay gabil la trou7 3ashan tit7ajaj w itgoul inha shab3ana.

“One vanilla ice shaken, one mocha frapuccino, and one chocolate chip cookie please”.

She ate a few bites of her cookie and sipped her vanilla ice shaken.

In a few minutes Nouf walked into Asrar’s room and passed her her francuppino.

Asrar jumped on Nouf and kissed her cheek saying, “THANK YOU! 3ad tawni agoul 7ag Omar ini mishtahya frapuccino”

“Waina Omar?”, asked Nouf as she took a few more bites of her cookie.

Asrar looked at her and said, “7mara takleen cookie gabil il zwara? Wallah a3arif sowalfich”.

Nouf giggled.

Omar walked into Asrar’s room and saw Nouf. Omar was two years older than Nouf, and was like the older brother she never had.

“W ana laish mayibteeli?”, he asked Nouf.

“Kisart kha6ri wallah al7een arou7 ayeeblik”, replied Nouf.

“La la atghashmar”

Asrar kicked her brother out of her room and told him she wants to get ready for their family gathering.

Nouf pulled out a blue jumpsuit for Asrar. She took Asrar’s hairbrush and started to brush Asrar’s long, thick, silky black hair.

“I wish I had your curls”, said Asrar.

“Your hair is beautiful, so chub”.

Asrar and Nouf were like sisters. They were so close. They were cousins, best friends, and sisters. Asrar had a sister, but she wasn’t like Nouf. Nouf was closer to Asrar than her own sister, and Asrar was the sister Nouf never had.

The girls walked out of Asrar’s room and passed by Omar’s room.

“Tabi tyi ma3ana bil sayara?”, the girls asked Omar.

“Ok yallah”.

The three ‘siblings’ entered Nouf’s black Range Rover and headed to Asrar and Omar’s family gathering.

“I wish I could drive”, said Asrar.

“Six more months”, replied Nouf.

1:23 am.

Theres just so much pain in my heart.
And so much weight on my shoulders.
That I physically feel like I cannot breathe.
But I know I will be okay. I know I will be okay.

"DANA! 3ASHA!"

I walked towards my door very slowly, and quietely opened my white wooden door.

I walked to the kitchen table and found a plate of noodles. I looked away in disgust.

"Mu 3ajbich?", she asked.

"Abi shay thani", I replied - for the first time in my life.

I felt a slap on my pale, white cheek. This time not a tear shed from my eyes. She stared at me in shock.

I turned around and stormed into my room.

I heard her heavy footsteps walk up the stairs. She barged into my room and grabbed my diary of feelings. It felt like she was grabbing my heart, because everything in my heart was written in that diary.

I did not resist. I was not willing to suffer the consequences.

Five minutes later she turned to me and said, "Dana, he doesn't love you. May7ibich, may7ibich, may7ibich, and he never will".

Without thinking twice I jumped off of my bed, pulled her long, silky hair and spit in her face.
I grabbed her by her shirt and shoved her against the wall.

"You can talk about anyone and anything, but not him. NOT HIM. Ila Fahad."

Stay True To Yourself

I had never realized how important it is to love and forgive yourself until a few months ago.
I was talking to one of my teachers about an issue I had and I told her, "Miss, I regret it. I don't know why I never spoke up or did something about it, I wish I had done something".
She turned to me and immediately told me, "But you forgive yourself don't you?"
I stopped talking for a second and thought about what she had said. 
I realized that I should've forgave myself because I was young and didn't know better.

You see, we all make mistakes. NO-ONE is perfect. I can repeat this sentence a million times without getting tired of saying it.

We forgive others for making mistakes, so why can't we forgive ourselves?

Think of one of the worst things you've done. Or something you deeply regret. You wanna go back in time and change it, don't you?
You shouldn't. Because what's done is done. You might be so mad at yourself for doing something but you need to understand that it's okay, it truly is. It might be hard, but keep in mind that you probably didn't know better. Or maybe you did. Maybe you did yet you still made that mistake. But you're human, aren't you? You'd forgive someone you love if they made that mistake, wouldn't you?

We also need to realize that we have to love ourselves. Loving yourself is different than being self-obssesed. Love yourself enough to have self-respect. Because you are a precious soul. Each and every one of us is special.

Some of us think we're worthless. NO-ONE is worthless. No-one. We were all put into this world by Allah for a reason. You are worth so much more than you imagine.

Loving and forgiving yourself is easier said than done, but don't be harsh on yourself. Take it one step at a time.

You are beautiful.

If you need to talk, if you need too vent, if you're feeling down and you don't know what to do, you know where to find me. I don't want anyone to feel like they are worthless or like they don't belong in this world.

Twitter: @fajeralsumait
Snapchat: fajeralsumait
ask.fm/fajeralsumait - if you wanna stay anonymous.

الحمد لله

-Fajer

13 to 19

"Teenagers have no reason to be unhappy"

"Teenagers overreact"

"Teenagers are too young to have problems"

Teenagers have feelings.

It's hard being a teenager. We aren't perfect, we get hurt, we fall in love, we cry, we laugh..

I became a teenager with a part of me trying to grow up and mature and another part of me holding on to the child I used to be.

We face reality when we become teenagers.

People shock us.

We wake up from our unrealistic dreams and we see the world from a different perspective.

We notice that not everyone is 'good'.

People disappoint us.

We get so shocked by the world and the people around us.

We get our hearts broken.

We start facing problems we never thought we'd face.

We realize that the world is not necessarily a 'safe' place and we experience the most shocking experiences.

It's not easy. We will have our bad days. We will ignore people. We will be rude. We will be mean sometimes. 

But it's only because we're growing up. We're learning.

Don't expect us to be perfect.

Preach!

You Can't Change Anyone

You can't change anyone but yourself.
No matter how hard you try, if a person is not willing to change they will not change.
Everyone is different. Nobody's the exact same. They might not show it but deep down they are different.

If you're mad at a friend, you can never change him/her because no matter what they will always go back to the person they were. They have to be the people they want to be. Because even if you think you've changed them, you haven't. You can only advise them.
Not even parents can change their kids. Because their kids can be the people they wanna be behind their backs.

Don't like someone? You don't have to hang out with them.
Don't like a friend's personality? Then you're not really friends; cause true friends accept each other.
Want someone to be different? They won't change for you. Advise them. But don't resist because the more you resist the more they'll rebel.

You don't know why a person is the way he/she is. You don't know what they're going through.
Accept each other. Have open minds and open arms. Be there for the ones you love. Offer a helping hand. Because that's all you can do.

Before You Scroll Down.. Read This

The posts on this blog are posts I've written a year ago. I've changed. I might not agree with some of the things I wrote back then. I agree with most. In the future I might not even agree with what I'm going to write right now. But I will not delete my posts. I'm not perfect, I'm growing up and changing too. I write to express myself, and I'm not trying to please or impress anyone.

Watch Your Words

I admit, I've hurt some people

I'm sorry if I hurt you

I'm not being a hypocrite, I'm making people realize that words hurt

Even myself..

First of all, why be mean to a non-Kuwaiti?

It DOES NOT make you cool

Stop bullying them because they're not the same as you

You won't gain more friends

Don't be racist

Don't just make fun of people

Fun of their voices

Their appearances

Their weight 

It's not funny

It's mean

And it kills

You might be the reason someone self harms

You might be the reason someone wants to take their own life

You never know what people go through at home

Watch your words and be careful what to say,

Put yourself in people's shoes before you say something,

And respect to be respected.

If anyone's hurt, upset, or broken I'd love to listen and help,

And if anyone has a story they wouldn't mind sharing anonymously so they could help others,

Talk to me on ask.fm/fajerspeaks